All signs point to a breakout season for Brad Hawpe.

I can’t believe it’s Sunday night again already. This time of year is the time I really wish I was a college student again, having freshly wrapped up exams, with nothing to do but practice beer pong skills while waiting for a 30 hour per week internship to get rolling. Unfortunately, I’m off to work again tomorrow for what should be the first of approximately 1400 more Mondays before retirement. Thank god there will always be sports to anesthetize my delicate sensibilities to face this. So powered by the vocal styling of Johnny Miller and Joe Morgan, let’s get to the wildest news in the world of sports!

Let’s start with basketball this week in honor of my hometown Celtics finally putting down the lowly Atlanta Hawks, by blowing them out in game 7 of their first round series. Earlier in the series, point guard Mike Bibby called out the Boston fans for supporting the Celtics this year a lot more than in the past, opining that that is what happens when you win. Wow, really? Bibby’s hypothesis was put to the test when the series moved back to Atlanta, where the Hawks always struggle to pull in paying fans. Low and behold, there were fans willing to pay to see the Hawks play in playoff games, and the Hawks did all they could to win some games for their new fans. Atlanta was given little chance of extending the series to the 5^th game, and they deserve all credit for fighting the Celts tooth and nail. I’m very excited to see what Al Horford can do next year, and even more excited to see what LeBron James brings to the table vs. the Celtics in round 2.

As Boston wrapped up their first round series, the Lakers got off on the right foot by defeating the Jazz behind another MVP performance by Kobe Bryant (38 points, 7 dimes, 6 boards). While they got the win, they were soundly out rebounded 58-41 by Utah (Mehmet Okur 19, Carlos Boozer 14, Deron Williams 9) with 25 boards vs. 8 boards coming off the offensive glass. The biggest problem for Utah was their absolutely abysmal 3 point shooting, as they hit only 3 of 19 shots attempted. I’d look for this to be a hard fought series, as Utah hits a few more of their 3’s next time out. Pau Gasol and Lamar Odem will have their hands full.

Fresh off its status as a battleground state in the Democratic primary, Pennsylvania is ready to draw a line and throw down again. This time however, folks will be casting their votes for the Flyers or the Penguins in the eastern conference finals. Sunday afternoon Marian Hossa continued to shine in the playoffs, scoring 2 goals, one in extra periods, to bring his playoff total to 5 goals and 10 points. I’m guessing he enjoys playing with Sidney Crosby, who assisted on both goals.

Let’s take a moment to visit the NFL’s rap sheet as it seems to have been a busy day for the league. Already struggling with a potential image problem on the heals of national sagas involving Michael Vick, Adam Jones, Chris Henry, and Tank Johnson last year, commissioner Roger Goodell is not going to be happy to see the latest news. First and foremost is the strange story involving upstanding citizen and future Hall-of-Fame candidate, Marvin Harrison. Apparently, Harrison was involved in a shooting this week and may have even been the shooter. Reportedly, an incident developed at Harrison’s Philadelphia bar, which led to an altercation and someone getting shot in the hand. The gun used was quite unique, and, as it happens, Harrison owns one. After initially lying about the whereabouts of the weapon, Marvin eventually fessed up that the gun used in the shooting was his gun, but he now claims not to be the shooter. Harrison’s agent claims that Harrison was not involved in the incident, but even so, the NFL cannot be pleased with this development.

<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->If you think that is the strangest news of the week, you’d be wrong. Bears running back Cedric Benson was actually arrested this week for “Boating under the Influence”. While there were dozens of people involved in the incident, Benson was the only one that decided to be a pain in the ass, and made a fuss when ordered to put on a life jacket. All of which eventually led to the pepper spraying of Benson, who had to be dragged to shore in order to be arrested. “Don’t pepper spray me bro!”

Now that we’ve covered the other sports, let’s dig into baseball, which had a comparatively slow news day. So let’s do some analysis. In pointing out the continued excellence of Zack Greinke in yesterday’s Grumble, Tim McCullough mentioned that Greinke has the second lowest ERA to one Cliff Lee, who’s sporting a 0.96 ERA himself. Obviously that’s not sustainable, but is it reasonable to think Lee can continue to be an above average starter this year? After all, he did have a good year in 2005 when he had a 1.22 whip in 200+ innings and averaged less than one hit per inning. Yet, he followed that up with a mediocre showing in 2006, and a troubled year in 2007, in which he encountered injuries, disputes with teammates, an eventual assignment to the Buffalo Bisons, and an invitation to sit at home while the Indians played postseason baseball. This is a guy who has never issued fewer than 2 BB/9 yet he’s walked few than 0.5 per 9 so far this year. This is a guy that averages about a hit an inning, yet, so far he’s given up only 4.5 per 9 in 2008. Most telling though, is a completely and utterly unsustainable sub .200 batting average on balls in play, which coincidentally jumped 40 points just this week. Ladies and Gentlemen, the reversion to mean has already begun. Sell high if you can, because this is the Chris Shelton of 2008.

Who can you target? I’d suggest starting with Brad Hawpe. As discussed in my inaugural Grumble, Hawpe’s spring training slugging percentage was greater than .200 points above his career average, and this statistic is one of the few spring numbers that has been correlated with success. Am I crazy? Hawpe started the season by hitting .239 in April serving it with a side of .743 OPS. Well, I’m not backing down from my preseason prediction of fantasy gold. Hawpe has already raised his average 14 points in May, and the buy low window is about to draw swiftly shut. If you’re not already convinced, check this out. Last year Hawpe started the year by hitting .258 in April and posting an OPS of .738 while slugging .372, yet he didn’t slug below .537 in any other month, and posted .900+ OPS the rest of the way, including a blistering 1.066 in May. Go trade for him today before it’s too late.

One last note, while watching Sunday night baseball, I heard 2 reports that made me say hmmmmm. First, it was reported that Skip Schumaker attributes his success this season to time spent working out with Mark McGwire in the off-season. I know guys like Skip don’t have PR people, but I’m not sure I’d be going around telling people I had a sudden jump in productivity after working out with one of the poster boys of the Steroid era. Second, Joe Morgan stated that though the Cardinals acquired Troy Glaus in order to provide Albert Pujols with some protection in the lineup, the only way to protect a guy like Pujols is to put another Pujols or Barry Bonds behind him. While the hatred of double B is strong, and his knees are basically gone, man oh man can you imagine having to face Bonds immediately after Al Pujols? How much better could Pujols be? I know Tony LaRussa would love it, so hey William DeWitt Jr., take a lesson from game theory and break up the collusion against Barry!  

Enjoy your Cinco de Mayo!