I want to start off every blog by complaining about my Detroit Tigers. I tried to hold off, but this time I just can't help myself. They just got shut out for the fifth time this year. They only got blanked three times last year, and that was considered a “down year”. Then what do you call this year? A disaster? I sure do. They're 14-19, last in the American League Central. Here are the divisional standings heading into Tuesday's games:

Minnesota           16-14

Chicago              14-16

Kansas City        14-16

Cleveland            14-17

Detroit                14-18

Look at that division. What a joke! The Twins are average across the board, and that's still good enough to lead the division. Their 16-14 record is borderline lousy, and they still have the fourth best record in the league, behind Boston, Los Angeles, and Oakland. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if those division standings were inverted two weeks from now. The Tigers are finished playing the Red Sox and Yankees for the rest of the season after the next week, so I'm not worried yet. They're only a few games out. Then again, they just got owned by Tim Wakefield on Tuesday. I knew it was bad when the Tigers had lost four in a row and Wakefield stepped onto the pitcher's mound. He owns this version of the Tigers. If I were hitting coach Lloyd McClendon I wouldn't let my batters swing at either of the first two pitches of every at-bat unless it was one of Wakefield's “get me over” 80 mph fastballs. Make him throw that knuckleball for a strike. He held the Tigers to something like three hits over eight innings, and the Detroit losing streak was extended to five games – again.

Manny Ramirez welcomed Detroit rookie pitcher Freddy Dolsi in his major league debut. On Dolsi's first pitch of his major league career he must have gotten nervous and hung a slider to ManRam. Anyway, you know what happened. Yep, a little bit of that rookie pitcher whiplash. Manny launched it to straight away center field for a 427-foot bomb. Welcome to the big leagues.

And did you know Tim Wakefield was second on Boston's all-time strikeout list? Check out the top five, and look at the company he keeps:

1. Roger Clemens

2. Tim Wakefield

3. Pedro Martinez

4. Cy Young

5. Luis Tiant

Now that I made mention of Roger Clemens, I'd like to officially pronounce him D-O-N-E done if no one else has so far. Rusty Hardin, Clemens' lawyer, only took this job because he knew he'd be making some mad cash. He may be wiping his butt with Benjamins at this point, but it hardly seems worth it. He's almost as much of an idiot as Clemens. Both of them should just keep their mouths shut, but I guess once Roger opened his big yapper, Hardin had to say something. Clemens should have just pulled a Mark McGwire and said he wasn't gonna talk about it. Or even funnier he could have vaguely apologized a la Jason Giambi or Paul LoDuca. Now he's accused of sexual relations with a 15-year-old. Good Lord, this is getting good. I can't wait for the sex tape – it's gotta be out there somewhere!

I wish Ozzie Guillen were my uncle. It would make me want to go to more family functions. I'd love it if my grandma would open a blow-up doll in the Christmas gift exchange!

Wladimir Balentin will quickly be making Seattle Mariners fans forget about Jose Guillen. He'll provide the same amount of home run power and far less clubhouse drama.

Don't buy into the hype of D'Back Max Scherzer just yet. He's not a starting pitcher in the majors. I think he's better suited for the bullpen and could be the closer by this time next year. He needs some time to harness his offspeed pitches.

Keep an eye on Angels' Nick Adenhart.

Buy-low candidate of the week: Chad Billingsley.

They're off to a good start so far: Gavin Floyd and John Danks can be really good this year. Danks is the better strikeout pitcher, and Floyd has twice shown he has no-hit stuff.

It's gonna be a few years, but Hanley Ramirez is gonna be a free agent. I sure hope the team has a stadium in place so they can afford to keep him. I also hope they're gonna have that $200 million check ready, because he's the next guy who's gonna command that kinda money. His totals this year so far – and keep in mind he's hitting leadoff: .317 BA, 25 R, 8 HR, 19 RBI, 10 SB.

I'll be at Cubs-Reds 12:35 est game today. Gotta love those “Businessman Special” games. Now I just hafta pray to keep the rain away.

LeBron James just shot 2 for 18 from the field: 12 points, 9 rebounds, 9 assists, and 10 turnovers. Almost a quadruple double of sorts. Ha!

Go Celtics.