This was the view of Reggie Bush that most of the Vikings special team players had last Monday night.

I had the luxury of watching my fantasy team drop to 2-3 this past Sunday. I know, I know, how can I claim to know anything about football, much less fantasy football, if I can’t even post a record above .500, right? Well, let me provide my defense.

A week ago I made the wise decision of sitting DeSean Jackson in favor of my breakout candidate of the week (at the time), Derrick Mason. It almost paid off. I needed five more yards, a touchdown, heck, if Neil Rackers made one more extra point in a 56-35 loss to the Jets, I would have prevailed. But no such luck. Derrick Mason’s gritty performance couldn’t propel my team to 3-1, and I lost by .6 points. Yes, you read it right.

But it’s my own fault. I should have listed to the fantasy Gods when they told me Rackers stopped being a good fantasy kicker two years ago. And then he goes and scores 11 points this week.

Beautiful.

But that doesn’t quite explain my 2-3 status, so allow me to continue. I faced another desperate 2-2 squad, with my duo of Lance Moore and Reggie Bush roaring to steamroll my team to a victory, down by 31 points. Lance Moore delivers almost nothing, on 5 catches for 31 yards. But then Bush, dear God, that lovely ox of a man, returned two punts for touchdowns, added 271 all-purpose yards, and rescued me from a three game slide. Oh, wait, no he didn’t. Because my league doesn’t award return yards or scores. Or fumbles.

What the crap is that?

It isn’t that I didn’t know my league’s set-up. Oh, believe me, I did. That’s not what was grinding my gears Monday night. It was the fact that I actually had to scream at Bush to stop, run out of bounds, or break an ankle, in hopes that the next play would be a touchdown pass to Lance Moore. Or, naturally, that Bush would jump up from his would-be broken ankle and scamper in for a 30-yard rushing touchdown. But these jubilant thoughts would never be.

As previously stated, my luck as gone against me, and I do fear is on it’s way of running out. But I began the season with a fresh Willie Parker, a Tony Romo to T.O. connection that seemed unbreakable, and a 2-0 fantasy team that appeared to have no ceiling. So, if you’re like me, and you feel the weight of the season on you, indulge with me for a while longer as I attempt to dig our teams out of the dirt.

The Nice Calls

Ride the Washington Redskins train for as far as you can. Chris Cooley, Jason Campbell, Clinton Portis, and Santana Moss are all strong plays, especially this week, as the Skins’ take on the lowly Rams.

Look for Seattle Seahawks players to bounce back, at least for one week. They’re facing an injury stricken Green Bay defense that can’t stop anyone, right now. The best play is Julius Jones, and Matt Hasselbeck heads into his friendliest match-up of the year.

The Bengals might finally get a win against the Jets, possibly meaning big days from Carson Palmer and the rest of the air attack. While a victory isn’t a sure thing, expect Palmer to hook up with Chad Johnson almost as much as he has all season. And while we’re at it, throw Brett Favre and his offense in the mix. It could be a high-scoring affair.

The Dolphins aren’t done yet, folks. Look for Ronnie Brown to have another big day against the Texans, as Houston drops to 0-5. Anthony Fasano continues to be a decent play at tight end.

The No Shows

Unless your league rewards return scores, don’t count on Reggie Bush too much. He’s a fine play, but not if you’re expecting 20-30 points. On that same note, stay away from Deuce McAllister until we see some real consistency in his touches.

The Broncos defense put in a good effort against Tampa Bay, but Jacksonville is a desperate team with a heck of a ground game. Don’t play Denver’s D’, and stay away from their RBBC, in case you have gotten bitten by the Michael Pittman bug.

Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams, at best, should be the only Detroit players in your line-ups. If you’re still dancing between Kevin Smith and Rudi Johnson, or hanging onto Jon Kitna, then shame on you.

Do I really need to say this? Stay away from the Cleveland dump. Not a one of them has been remotely solid this year, and it’s foolish to think that will change on Monday night against the 4-0 Giants. Did you see what they did to the Seahawks? Don’t even breathe the name, Donte Stallworth.

There are still concerns about Brian Westbrook’s ribs, Trent Edwards’ head, and other players. Wait on Jeremy Shockey and Kevin Curtis, and I give the green light on Reggie Brown.

 Any more questions, suggestions, or concerns, you can reach me at Kevin.roberts@cuw.edu