Patriots head coach Bill Belichick is showing more confidence in Matt Cassell's ability to throw the ball down field.

           
When I was in college, I wrote a column for a college humor website titled, “Things Everyone Should Be Bothered By.”  Most of it involved trivial observations such as couples sitting on the same side of the table at a restaurant, people with matching or responding away messages, women who wear clothes that say “PINK” but are not pink, and other similar complaints.  Rereading this column got me thinking; there are many things in the sports world that I believe should bother everyone.  Immensely.  I began compiling a list of the most agitating parts of sports.  While still under works, here are my two most recent grumblings:

Pre-season coverage

Watching ESPN yesterday morning, I timed (yes, I have a stopwatch) almost twenty-five minutes of an hour long Sportscenter dedicated to NBA and NHL pre-season.  Pre-season.  I understand the value of holding exhibition games before the start of the season.  New players need to mesh with their old teams, players shake off the rust of an inebriated off-season, stars return from injuries and test their rehab, and owners discover who is the most marketable.  But, do I really care that the Sixers beat the Celtics by four last night thanks to an impressive showing by Thaddeus Young and Lou Williams?  Do I really think they can score a combined 48 points against the defending champions in the regular season?  No and no.  Nevertheless, there they were on television and on the second page of the Sports section.  Now the NBA and NHL try to spice it up with games in Paris and Norway and Uzbekistan.  They claim they are spreading overseas to increase their market share.  In reality, they’re going overseas because no one in the United States cares about pre-season sports!  Are the media aware the baseball’s League Championship Series started last night?  Or that the NFL is as crazy as a scene from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas thanks to injuries and impressive choking abilities of the AFC elite? Don’t worry though; I’d rather see how Memphis and Toronto’s scrubs played than how Philadelphia pitchers will respond to Manny’s bat. Go Griz!

Boston and Chicago

For the three people that read this column, they are aware of my distaste for my neighbors from the Northeast.  For eighty-six years, they were the most annoyingly vocal whining, crybaby, and pain-in-the-ass fans.  In 2001, Bill Belichick and Tom Brady teamed up to win the first of three Super Bowl rings for not only Boston, but all of New England.  Is the city placated?  Of course, not, they cheer for a week and say now it’s the Red Sox turn to win the championship.  When the “Sawks” won in 2004, a nation stems from their championship!  A nation of unsatisfied, bandwagon jerks who don’t understand how it really feels to be deprived of a championship.  If I were Belichick or Brady, I’d stick all three rings on my middle finger and give a nice “You’re Number One!” salute to Boston.  They are ridiculously underappreciated.

My dislike of Chicago stems more from media coverage.  Two days after my Phillies won their first playoff series since 1993 and the Dodgers swept the Phillies, I grew excited browsing for coverage of the NLCS. I found ZERO articles previewing the series but on the front page of almost every sports website were at least three articles on the CUBS.  THEY’RE NOT EVEN IN THE PLAYOFFS ANYMORE!  One hundred years is a nice, even number to do a feature article on but Chicago fans aren’t the only fans in the country!  Besides, they still have the Bulls dominance of the 1990’s and for some Chicagoans, the White Sox World Series of 2005.

Do you want real title deprivation?  Philadelphia* has plenty of that and no cries and complaints outside the city (sans this article).  The Eagles have never won a Super Bowl.  The Flyers last Stanley Cup was in the 1970s and the Sixers last won the NBA championship in 1983.  As for the Phillies, while not as nice looking as 100, it took the Phillies 98 years to win their first World Series in 1980 and they still haven’t won one since.  And according to Jason Stark of ESPN, wrap your mind around this, “The Marlins have been around for 16 seasons. They've won six postseason series. The Phillies have been in existence for slightly longer than that -- like 110 years longer. But they've won only five postseason series. In the history of the franchise.”  We’re not just one team deprived; we’re an entire city!  Do you know what we’d give to lick the champagne-coated floor after a Boston or Chicago championship in the past fifteen years?

*My heart goes out to other lovable, losing cities like Cleveland and Buffalo, but Philadelphia is the only one with four teams in the four major sports.

The Quickies

New management leads to new suggestions on the fantasy front.  I promised that Jon Kitna would consistently produce with Calvin Johnson because they play from behind so often.  However, with the firing of Matt Millen, faith in Kitna is severely diminished.  When you're replaced by Dan Orlovsky, that can’t be good news for your future in Detroit.  While I advise dropping Kitna, Johnson still holds some of his value as a big (literally huge) target for Orlovsky to throw to in one of their upcoming losses…I mean, games.

If someone in your league dropped Randy Moss or Wes Welker, pick them up immediately.  Belichick is evidently more confident in quarterback Matt Cassel, and strayed from his conservative use of his quarterback in Sunday’s victory against the 49ers.  The Cassel to Moss bomb in their 30-21 victory is only a foreshadowing of things to come. 

 
Dare I say it, but look at Kyle Orton as a potential bench warmer?  The Chicago quarterback temporarily silenced critics with over 500 yards passing and five touchdowns in his last two games.  Crazier things have happened.

In three games, the Indianapolis Colts defense allowed four one-hundred yard rushers.  In four games, the Colts give up an average of 185 yards per game on the ground.  They play the Ravens Sunday afternoon.  Not only is Le’Ron McClain a no-brainer to start, but don’t be afraid to take a chance with Joe Flacco.  His play has been solid so far, and with the threat of the run lingering every game against the Colts, it will provide more opportunities for Flacco to grow accustomed to his receivers. 

 Fortunate are those who own Clinton Portis and Adrian Peterson this week.  Portis faces the St. Louis Rams while Peterson takes on the hapless Detroit Lions.  If you’re a Peterson/Portis owner and have some cajones, take a chance on a potential sleeper at another position knowing your tailbacks will cover their points (or lack thereof) if they have a poor performance.

What a better way for Deuce McAllister to return gradually to football then by playing the Oakland Raiders defense.  Two touchdowns from him, guaranteed.

As Anquan Boldin recovers from a nasty helmet-to-helmet collision, Larry Fitzgerald gets to reap the benefits.  Fitzgerald automatically became Kurt Warner’s primary target and will face a relatively weak Dallas secondary on Sunday.

How in the world have I not mentioned Tim Hightower in this column yet?  Sure, he is the epitome of the evil that is the running-back-by-committee but he does nothing but score for the Cardinals.  He scored two touchdowns last Sunday bringing his grand total to five.  While he won’t hit the 100-yard plateau in a game, he seems destined to score at least one touchdown with all the goal-line opportunities Coach Ken gives him.