LeRon McClain, Ravens

Not too great a week for the Toxic Twins, eh?

No – I’m not talking about a certain band that always seems to be on the precipice of extinction  but rather Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa – the poisonous PED pair who simultaneously captivated us in 1998, shamed us in 2007 and have aged quite nicely into just plain embarrassing circa 2009. Check out McGwire, who recently was named St. Louis’ brand new hitting coach yet has been reluctant to show his face or speak publically of the hiring – causing the Cardinals brass to announce they’re now working on a private strategy for him to “talk about the past” and future. Not one of the best ways to impress you new employer, right?  Truth be told, McGwire’s never been one to shy away from self-inflicting wounds, so inadvertently alienating himself yet again from the game he loves and the passionate fans of St. Louis is par for the course and yup – downright stupid.  The one positive we can take from this, however, is that the winter season will be shortened – at least some – by an unceremonious and highly entertaining press conference announcing his sudden resignation. 

Then we have McGwire’s partner in crime Sosa, whose recent, bizarre appearance at Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino in Las Vegas has him looking more like the Dominican cousin of Eddie Munster than anything resembling his former self. Seriously, after viewing the new and improved Sosa, is there really anything left to say? Didn’t think so.

Moving on to more inspiring, productive terrible twosomes, this week’s edition of “Start Em If You Got Em” focuses on four players, who unlike McGwire and Sosa, won’t dare do anything nearly as discomforting in your lineup this weekend. All should be 100% owned and locks in your lineup.

Start ‘Em If You Got ‘Em 

RB Ricky Williams and RB Ronnie Brown, Dolphins – What do you get when pitting the fifth best rushing offense against the 30^th ranked rushing defense? Well, you get fantasy gold, that’s what! Look a bit deeper, however, and you’ll realize the matchup is pure platinum when Miami’s opponent happens to be the hapless Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Take the 620 yards and 7 rushing touchdowns Tampa’s given up in the last four weeks alone – and the fact that both Williams and Brown have combined for 14 of Miami’s 19 total TD’s so far in 2009 – to give the matchup some perspective. Add Tampa’s embarrassing week six loss to Carolina – in which D’Angelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart combined for 276 rushing yards and 3 TD’s  – and it’s all starting to make sense, isn’t it?  Grumble Prediction: Brown: 15 carries for 109 yards, 2 TD; Williams: 11 carries for 98 yards, TD; 4 rec. for 46 yards, TD

TE Visanthe Shiancoe and WR Percy Harvin, Vikings – Considering he’s one of Brett Favre's favorite red-zone targets and has scored a touchdown in the last two games versus Detroit, it’s a no-brainer to peg Shiancoe as your starting TE this week. Done and done. As for Harvin, he’s fast becoming Favre’s favorite deep ball threat and seems the most logical to burn a Detroit secondary that’s ranked 31^st against the pass and has a propensity for giving up long plays to speedy wide receivers. Although Harvin’s been targeted for the long TD as of late, don’t you dare think WR Sidney Rice has become second fiddle. Rice still leads the Vikings in receptions and remains a dynamic possession receiver and red zone threat in his own right, so it would come as no surprise to see him decimate the Lions secondary as well. One any given Sunday he’s capable of hauling in ten passes, a few red zone targets and is now a must start even more than Harvin. The more inconsistent of the trio, WR Bernard Berrian, is also start-worthy this week (as a decent #3 WR), has scored in three of his last five contests yet still seems to be limited due to a lingering hamstring injury. Other than that, the only knock on Berrian is that he’s competing with Rice, Harvin, Shiancoe and oh yeah – Adrian Peterson – for opportunities, so temper your expectations a bit and hope for the best. Grumble Prediction: Shiancoe: 3 rec. for 45 yards, TD; Harvin: 5 rec. for 129 yards, TD; Rice: 8 rec. for 109 yards; Berrian: 3 rec. for 40 yards, TD

Deep, Deep Sleepers -- Deep, Deep Leagues

Are you in a super-sized league with nonsensically large starting rosters? If so, give the following two players a look before considering your options.

RB Le’ron McClain, Ravens – Just twelve months ago it was McLain who was the most valuable of Baltimore’s three-headed monster, but what a difference a year makes!  In 2009 he’s become exactly what he should be – a change of pace fullback who’s capable of gaining a much needed first down or rare goal-line score if desired. Although in any other week I’d strongly advise against starting McLain, especially now that RB Ray Rice has become the all-purpose, three down stud the Ravens hoped he’d be, Baltimore this week has the pleasure of facing an atrocious Browns team that’s ranked 31^st against the run. So considering QB Joe Flacco and company will be out for blood after a miserable performance last week in Cincinnati – and that this contest most likely will over quite early in the third quarter – it’s not out of the realm of possibility to see Baltimore coach John Harbaugh ease up on Rice and give McLain, whose been far more useful than RB Willis McGahee, a few opportunities. Be advised, however, that this recommendation is based on an owner’s desperate need for a backup RB in deep, deep leagues. Grumble Prediction:  7 carries for 35 yards, TD.

FB Leonard Weaver, Eagles – The 250lb. Weaver has the potential to become a usable option this week for owners in deep leagues only if RB Brian Westbrook remains out of the lineup with an ankle injury – which as of now looks to be a distinct possibility. If Westbrook can’t go or is limited then both RB Leshon McCoy and to a lesser extent – Weaver – will see expanded roles against an inconsistent San Diego run defense that’s contained the likes of Denver and New York but also gave up almost 200 rushing yards to Steelers RB Rashard Mendenhall earlier in the season.  As far as I’m concerned, the Chargers run defense is bordering on fraudulent, so proceed with no caution whatsoever. Grumble Prediction:  9 carries for 47 yards, TD