K-Rod put a scare into his owners last week.

Like you, Pen Names is still trying to forget all the forced laughter and restrained violence from spending time with our godforsaken families over yet another holiday weekend.  Ugh.  One day, when technology allows, Pen Names will be entirely written on the moon, where southern-bred, racist uncles and cousins of questionable breeding dare not venture for fear of lunar gentrification.  There, we’ll take refuge in the icy cold of stellar blackness, with nary a distraction to keep us from our bullpen duties.  Then, and only then will we be completely free from the sufferings inherent to the very nature of family.  It is at that point that you, the readers of Pen Names will be my new, true family, continuing a relationship that we began last year—one that shall continue until the end of time.

Arlington, Texas is the scene for many a pitcher melt-down.  Soon enough, we should expect to see pitching statistics wilt in the summer sun (beware Kevin Milwood owners).  For now, however, there’s reason for optimism.  Closer Frank Francisco and his ripe, virgin ERA (0.00) are back from the DL.  C.J. Wilson filled in during the short-term, but with Francisco off to such a dominating start, his return couldn’t have happened soon enough.  It’s safe to say that you should be inserting Francisco back into your active lineup ASAP.

Matt Capps, the up and down closer from Pittsburgh took a line drive off his right elbow, something of a concern for a right-handed pitcher.  There’s no word yet as to the severity of the injury, but just in case, Pen Names is taking Capps from the closer rankings and filling in the way the Pirates likely will—with some combination of John Grabow, the underwhelming Tyler Yates, and the under-appreciated Jesse Chavez.  Grabow is the favorite to fill-in, having previous closing experience (when Capps was injured in ’08), but Chavez has the best overall numbers (1.83 ERA, 1.12 WHIP).  Add at your own risk.

Okay now, this one’s potentially scary.  No, it’s not as scary as “Audition”, but it will send shivers down your spine.  After notching his 13^th save of the year, closer extraordinaire, Francisco Rodriguez had to be rushed to a Boston hospital to receive treatment on his back.  The good news is that the injury doesn’t appear to be serious, but with the violent motion K-Rod utilizes to deliver his arsenal of pitches, there’s no telling if and when this problem may return.  The first name to be aware of (not that you weren’t already) is J.J. Putz.  He’s been a phenomenal closer in the past, and even if he’s lost a little of his dominant stuff, he’d still be first in line to close if K-Rod couldn’t answer the call.  Oh, and if you haven’t seen the afore-mentioned “Audition”, do so… you’ll never think of dating the same way again.

Our rankings…

First Tier (the best of the best):

1. Jonathan Broxton, Dodgers: Strikeouts, saves, and stellar ratios, what else is there?
2. Francisco Rodriguez, Mets: I’m not worried about the back injury…yet.
3. Jonathan Papelbon, Red Sox: WHIP normalizing, falling in line with other numbers.
4. Mariano Rivera, Yankees: I’m not worried, even if his ERA is 3.18 over the last month.
5. Heath Bell, Padres: Getting absurd amount of SV chances during 10 game win streak.
6. Joe Nathan, Twins: He’s still about as good as good gets, even if the Twins struggle.

Second Tier:

7. Bobby Jenks, White Sox: Finally blew his first save but he’s still a strong option.
8. Francisco Cordero, Reds: Not on your wish list, but you’re not re-gifting either.
9. Trevor Hoffman, Brewers: He’s been the Hoffman of old, not the old Hoffman.
10. Chad Qualls, Diamondbacks: He’s still far better than he’s given credit for.
11. Frank Francisco, Rangers: Off the DL and closing for the surprising Rangers again.

Third Tier:

12. Brian Wilson, Giants: No longer WHIP and ERA killer, and still getting saves.
13. Brian Fuentes, Angels: Seems to be getting more comfortable in new surroundings.
14. Scott Downs, Blue Jays: Ryan is still the logical handcuff, but Downs is up.  Sorry.
15. Ryan Franklin, Cardinals: Now that I’m starting to believe, should we start to worry?

Fourth Tier:

16. Kerry Wood, Indians: Obviously, Wood has even me (his biggest supporter) worried
17. Brad Lidge, Phillies: Back-to-back encouraging outings—FINALLY
18. Mike Gonzalez, Braves: He and Soriano are forming a dynamic tag-team.
19. Houston Street, Rockies: He’s been great (0.00, 0.73) over the last month.
20. Fernando Rodney, Tigers: The team is better than expected; Rodney too.

Fifth Tier:

21. George Sherrill, Orioles: Sub-1.00 ERA over the last month and improved K/9.
22. Kevin Gregg, Cubs: He’s less valuable when Marmol struggles in set-up role.
23. David Aardsma, Mariners: He’ll close for now, but the team still wants Morrow to close.
24. LaTroy Hawkins, Astros: He’s been filling in for a while now, and still no one notices.
25. Aaron Bailey, Athletics: Even if it’s Ziegler’s job, officially, Bailey’s the better option.

Some “other” names:

26. Matt Lindstrom, Marlins: A one pitch pitcher, and that pitch isn’t exactly dominant.
27. Juan Cruz, Royals: The good news is that Soria will begin a rehab assignment soon.
28. Someone, Pirates: Capps is injured but no on the DL (yet). Grabow is likely next in line.
29. Mess in Tampa, Rays: Percival’s hurt, everyone else is ineffective.  What to do?
30. National disaster, Washington: I’m back to touting Hanrahan as the main, bad option.

“Holding On” is the part of Pen Names where we turn our collective attention to those “other” members of the relief corps around baseball, the middle relievers, set-up men, and, in many cases, the Holds candidates.  We like to think of the Holding On nominees as the “best of the rest” of the Major League relief world.  We’re here to do what we do best—keep you from suffering.

Matt Thornton, White Sox: He’s the main set-up man for Jenks and has 16Ks in his last 11 IP.

Ryan Madson, Phillies: Until Romero returns (soon), Madson’s the only backup to a shaky Lidge.

Dan Wheeler, Rays: Over the 30 days, he’s been the best of a bad pen.  Next in line to close?

JJ Putz, Mets: A Holding On mainstay, he may get some SV opportunities with K-Rod ailing.

Rafael Betancourt, Indians: 1K/IP+ makes him useful again, and Wood’s struggles

If you want to email, you can reach me at: damianschaab@sportsgrumblings.com

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