Carson, could you pretend to be the quarterback we all thought you would be and beat the Rams?

How We Did Last Week

What We Got Right: the Bills, Vikings, Titans, Jaguars, Jets, Seahawks, Panthers, Cardinals, and Buccaneers

What We Got Wrong: the Packers, Rams, Chiefs, Broncos, Bears, Bengals, and Patriots

For the week, that puts us at 9-7, and for the season at 94-86-10, 0.522 PCT. Hey, that keeps the Soothsayer in the green, and Mrs. Soothsayer off his back, and that is all that matters.

This Week’s Picks

Bears (+3) over REDSKINS

The Redskins on Sunday showed why we have little to no faith in them, and that is the coaching ineptitude of Joe Gibbs. Yes, he was a Hall of Fame caliber coach once, but he has been away from the game for a long time, in which time the game has clearly passed him by. Simply put, Gibbs’ mental lapses have cost the Redskins a playoff shot this season, and they will seal the deal on this season tonight. Gibbs should stick to racing, where he actually has an idea still of what it takes to win. Of course, his switch there to Toyota might just pay off like his time-out calls and draft judgment…

JAGUARS (-11.5) over Panthers

The Panthers finally broke their home losing and picked up a big win last week. Of course, they did so against the 49ers, who are beyond hapless, so it really should not count. The Jaguars, on the other hand, lost last week, but they did so closely in a game that could have gone either way against the Colts. The Jaguars are one of the league’s best teams, even with the loss last week. The Panthers are one the worst teams in the league, even with their win last week. Do not expect the Panthers to have even a chance here this week.

Cowboys (-11.5) over LIONS

Can the Lions fall even further? We thought Jon Kitna was crazy when he said the Lions would win ten games, and then we started to think maybe, just maybe, he was not so crazy after all. Now that the Lions have reverted to being the Lions, however, we have reverted to thinking that Jon Kitna is crazy. After Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor both lit up the Lions, look for the Cowboys to follow that game plan and let Julius Jones and Marion Barber go crazy.

BILLS (-7) over Dolphins

The Dolphins made the Jets look good last week.  The Jets – the J E T S Jets Jets Jets. The Bills, meanwhile are making a playoff run. Oh, and this game is being played in Buffalo, where it will have been snowing for three days. There is no chance in heck that the Dolphins are even close in this one.

Giants (+3) over EAGLES

Again, the linesmakers seem infatuated with the Eagles at home despite them having won only two games at home and despite the Giants being a better road team than a better home team. There is no reason at all to favor the Eagles here. So we will not either, and we will expect the Giants to not only cover but to win here.

PACKERS (-11.5) over Raiders

Brett Favre may or may not be able to go. Who cares? Aaron Rodgers could just as easily crush the Raiders. Heck, Aaron Echolls could beat the Raiders, and he was a fictional character on Veronica Mars. The Raiders came up big last week, sure, but that was against the Broncos, who on any given week have no clue what up is and what down is. In other words, the offensive explosion is not one we can possibly believe in.

TITANS (Even) over Chargers

Why are we picking the Titans when the Chargers are so hot? Well, for one, the Chargers are just 2-4 on the road. For two, the Titans are 4-2 at home. For three, we are just waiting for Norv Turner to snatch defeat and humiliation from the jaws of victory, as he always does, and we expect that decline to begin this week.

BENGALS (+7.5) over Rams

The Bengals have been horrid for much of the season, and they have been a significant disappointment, but we set a rule a while back that we would not pick the Rams this season at any point, for any reason. So even though we might want to scrap that rule with them all of a sudden looking a little less inept, we must stick to it as a matter of principle, and hope that Carson Palmer, Rudi Johnson, and Chad Johnson all realize that they were supposed to be amongst the best at their positions this year.

Buccaneers (-3) over TEXANS

Even if Jeff Garcia cannot go, Luke McCown can, and he has shown that he can be a quality quarterback in his own right. Regardless of who goes, the Buccaneers have shown themselves to be a solid, balanced team that is playoff bound. That is unlike the Texans, who have to be wondering why they traded for Matt Schaub when Sage Rosenfels is twice the man that Schaub is. Rosenfels will keep this close, but the Bucs will win.

Cardinals (+8) over SEAHAWKS

The Cardinals have worked their way into the playoff hunt, and yet the linesmakers disrespect them with a spread over a touchdown. Kurt Warner has gone from being a backup to Matt Leinart to making some question whether Leinart is still in the Cardinals’ plans. The Seahawks are a solid team, sure, but they are not eight points better than the Seahawks.

Vikings (-10) over 49ERS

The 49ers have issues, ones so bad that they made the Panthers look good last week. No one makes the Panthers look good. The Vikings, meanwhile, are trying to show they can contend, with two running backs that have simply been going crazy on the league of late. The 49ers will not be able to stop either Taylor or Peterson, and 10 points seems rather low the way these two teams have been playing.

PATRIOTS (-12) over Steelers

The Soothsayer understands that the Patriots have not played as well over the last two weeks, but the Soothsayer also likes the Patriots at home, plus the bulletin board material the Steelers have been providing this week about guaranteeing a win. The Patriots have the motivation they need to crush the Steelers, and the Steelers’ own weaknesses of late do not make this game any easier. Keep in mind that over the last three weeks that the Steelers have lost to the Jets, barely beaten the Dolphins after not scoring until the final 17 seconds of the game – and then only a field goal, and beaten the Bengals despite Willie Parker fumbling as often as possible.

Browns (-3) over JETS

Only three points? The Browns are one of the better teams in the AFC this year, and they are only favored by three points? Seriously? The Jets are going to lose, and lose badly here.

Chiefs (+7.5) over BRONCOS

The Chiefs’ offense has issues, but one thing is sure – Kolby Smith is the real deal. In his two games as the starter, he has rushed for 150 yards and 83 yards with two touchdowns, and he is just about the only sure thing right now that the Chiefs have going for them. The Broncos, meanwhile, allowed 175 yards on the ground to a weak Raiders’ team. If the Raiders can get that many yards last week, the Chiefs certainly can this week.

RAVENS (+10) over Colts

Did the linesmakers not watch the game on Monday? Seriously, this week’s spreads have us questioning their sanity. The Ravens showed that they still have a little fight left and that they have not given up on the season. Further, they have shown that they can stop a high-powered offense. The Ravens might not be able to score on a regular basis, but they are getting there and, more importantly, they can hold the opposition from doing so. Do we expect the Colts to win? Yes we do, but not by this much.

Saints (-4) over FALCONS

The Saints have struggled with consistency all year, but the Falcons have struggled to look like a real football team. The Soothsayer would rather have the team that struggles over the team that is not really a team at all.