| Fire Sale: Let's Get It On! |
| By Mr X |
Published
10/1/2008
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The Fire Sale
| Unrated
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Mr X
Mr. X hails from Parts Unknown, where the men are still men and the women are damn happy about it. Blessed with bulging biceps and a rapier-like wit, he can beat you sensless with brain or brawn; pick your poison. Above all else, Mr. X is a keen fantasy sports analyst and even keener narrator of the human condition.
View all articles by Mr X
Let's Get It On!
 WR Roy Williams has been having serious production issues this season |
So I come into the office today, and guess what sight greets me in the bullpen? No, it wasn't some big-breasted bimbo with a paternity suit in her hand (thank you, Trojan Magnums!)-- it was someone whose mug hasn't been seen in these parts for a long time.
For you clods locked away in a cave the past week, I'm talking about Tom Casale, the original author of this column. Seems that wuss Georgopoulos decided this site needed some more buzz, so rather than higher some hot hos to pose for bikini shots with Mr. X, he hires Casale.
I've always liked Casale; he bangs hot broads, he works out a lot, he ignores Georgopoulos and he knows almost as much about football as I do. We also have another thing in common: we have idiots for readers. As a matter of fact, I respect the dude's work so much that I kept this column name as The Fire Sale, even though Georgopoulos thought it should be changed.
But here's my problem: Casale is yesterday's news. He says he bangs 25-year old Asian girls; I say, why limit yourself to one race of broads and the near-geriatric age of 25? He says he has 17" biceps; I say, get into the gym and work on those twigs you call arms. He says he likes the backdoor action with his chicks, I say... wait. We agree on that one.
Anyway, Casale's writing something called The New World Order. I'm sure many of you rubes will read it. It may take you an hour to finish it, but you'll read it. That's cool. But after you're done reading that stuff, remember to stop by here to get some real knowledge. Oh wait. Most of you are from the South. Nevermind, knowledge is like Kryptonite to you hayseeds.
For those of you still reading this nonsense, good for you. Your cause is not entirely lost. Now if some of my immense masculinity somehow manages to seep across your monitor and into your worthless bodies, go out and find some broad and pin her ankles behind her ears for a couple of hours.
Now on with this week's Fire Sale...
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