When will Willie Parker come back at full strength?

You know what I’m really getting sick of? I’m sick and tired of these TV stations trying to force their terrible shows down our throat. Listen, we don’t want to watch Eli Stone. No one cares if Katie Holmes is going to be on. That show blows, so stop putting on a commercial for it every two seconds. And then the king of annoyance is TBS. Is the future of that company tied into the success of FrankTV  or something?

Seriously, for anyone who watched the baseball playoffs on TBS, we must have seen 300 commercials for that douche bag show. I’m sorry but as well as he does John Madden and George Bush, I don’t want to watch him do it for an entire show. I have never seen a show so pushed by a network before in my life. Holy crap, there is a FrankTV commercial on right now as I’m typing this. I’m sure that the 45 people who watch FrankTV are all pumped up but for the love of God, stop showing these commercials. FrankTV will be cancelled by the end of the year. Oh my God, another FrankTV commercial. I can’t take it anymore.

Now, onto the New World Order:

Inside the Huddle

 I spent four years in the NFL and still have many contacts around the league. Here is what I’m hearing:

--If you have been following this column, you know I’ve said more than once that Laurence Maroney has played his final game with the Patriots. Well, Bill Belichick made that official this week by placing Maroney on IR with a “shoulder injury.” The truth is, Maroney is about as injured as I am. After that play against San Fran that I mentioned two weeks ago where he ran out of bounds instead of trying for the first down, Maroney sealed his fate in New England. Belichick has given him plenty of chances to get on board with the program but he just doesn’t get it. So why put him on IR? Because now he won’t be around the team. I’ve been told that Maroney’s locker has already been cleared out and he will either be traded or released this offseason. Any way you slice it, he’s played his last down in New England.

--Speaking of running backs who have worn out their welcome, I’m told by a pretty informed NFL Insider that this is Larry Johnson’s final season in Kansas City. As reported, the Chiefs tried to move LJ before the deadline but no team wanted him. However, expect that to change this offseason. Johnson will be moved before the draft and the NFL Insider I spoke to said the Steelers and Broncos are two teams likely to pursue the disgruntled back.

--For those of you waiting for the Colts to wake up, you could be in for a long wait. I spoke to an NFL scout and asked him about Indy’s problems so far this season. His response? The team isn’t very good. “I grade out the teams on how they play, not what their record is,” he said. “Right now, the Colts are a one-win team in my opinion. They have only played one good game all year. The defense is the same as it’s always been but it’s magnified now because the offense isn’t nearly as productive as it was in the past. The team looks old. The line can’t block anyone, the receivers can’t get open and Manning is out of rhythm to the point where he looks lost at times. They just aren’t a very good football team.”

Who’s Hot

Zach Miller, TE Raiders – Regardless of what Al “poopy pants” Davis says, JaMarcus Russell isn’t a good player. However, after watching the Raiders play a couple of times, I’ve noticed that many of Russell’s wobbly passes are often intended for Miller. Actually, with the tight end position being so weak in fantasy football these days, Miller’s numbers aren’t that bad. He has 18 receptions for 256 yards and a touchdown. Zach’s fantasy numbers are actually better than another Miller, Heath. If you are looking for help at tight end – and most of us are – take a shot with a guy who has clearly become JaMarcus Russell’s favorite target.

Greg Camarillo, WR Dolphins – I have no idea how this guy is still in the league but he’s not only on an NFL roster, he’s putting up solid numbers. The Great White Hope has 27 receptions, 337 yards and a score on the season. Are those great numbers? No but he’s a guy who can fill in on bye weeks and in case one of your talented (black) receivers gets injured. One of the reasons Camarillo is putting up solid numbers is because he’s a possession receiver and Chad Pennington can only throw the ball 15 yards. This is a guy who can catch 60-70 balls on the year and is most likely still available in most leagues.

Antonio Bryant, WR Bucs – Bryant was drafted by my Cowboys and while he showed flashes of potential, he never could quite get his head screwed on straight. Now he seems to have found a home in Tampa Bay. With Joey Galloway still nursing his vagina, Bryant has emerged as the Bucs top receiver and Jeff Garcia’s favorite target. If Bryant can stay out of trouble, he’s primed to have a huge year as long as Garcia is under center.

Benjarvus Green-Ellis, RB Patriots – Here is a guy to keep an eye on before others know who he is. I was in New England when Green-Ellis was signed as an undrafted free agent and I always liked the kid. He was a terrible blocker and with the Pats depth at tailback, Green-Ellis landed on the practice squad. However, he did show a lot of promise as a runner. Now with Maroney done for the season and both Sammy Morris and LaMont Jordan hurting, Green-Ellis could be in line to get more carries. Playing the Broncos defense is like playing against air but the rookie showed some potential by running for 65 yards and a touchdown. Keep an eye on this kid, as the other backs in New England continue to land on the injury report.

Who’s Not

Willie Parker, RB Steelers – The waiting continues. Every week we hear that Parker is going to return and every week he is standing on the sidelines in street clothes. Luckily for me, I traded Parker a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately for me, I traded him for Larry Johnson. It’s looking more and more like Parker’s injury is a lot more serious than originally thought and I’m not sold that he’ll be back at full strength any time soon.

Derek Anderson, QB Browns – Put in Brady Quinn! Holy Christ, what is this team waiting for? Last week against the Redskins, Anderson had a whopping total of 41 yards passing in the THIRD QUARTER! From the people I speak with, they all tell me Quinn is the real deal and ready to lead the offense. I have no idea what Romeo Crennel is waiting for. I don’t know if he’s aware of this, but his job is kind of on the line. I really think that Quinn is going to be a star in the NFL but even if he isn’t, I can guarantee that he’ll be just as average as Derek Anderson.

Lance Moore, WR Saints – Moore has seen his best days come and go. Now that Drew Brees is getting some of his other weapons back, Moore is becoming irrelevant. Perhaps the injury to Reggie Bush will provide some hope for Moore owners but he’s been non-existent in two of the last three weeks. I wouldn’t totally give up on Moore yet but I also wouldn’t expect him to put up starting fantasy numbers on a weekly basis either.

Boner of the Week: Jerry Jones could retire this award and win it every week but to keep things fresh, I’ll give it to Mike Holmgren. What a way to ruin a football team. Tell everyone you are retired but you want to get paid for one more season. It reminds of the Seinfeld when Newman doesn’t get his transfer to Hawaii and Jerry asks him if he quit the Post Office. Newman replied, “Well, not exactly. I’m still collecting a pay check, I’m just not going to work.” That’s basically what Holmgren is doing. His players don’t respect him and you can see that he is just thinking about his next tee time. Don’t expect an NFL team to ever do what the Seahawks did by naming a new coach and making the other guy a lame duck. That doesn’t work when you are trying to lead players who make $20 million a year.

By the way, there were seven FrankTV ads on while I was writing this column. Unbelievable.